Olagoke Oreoluwa Elizabeth

I see the way you smile at her,  I smell her on you when you crawl into bed with me all night, Why do you even bother coming back if you keep going back to her the next day? So many nights I pray I have the strength to look you in the eye and tell you to get your shit together or be gone, You make me so sick, I hate the pretend games we play in front of our kids, They deserve to know the truth  We’ve grown apart and it’s so glaring we don’t love each other anymore  We used to be so good together  Who knew something as good as us would turn this sour  It’s upsetting when you say you love me and I have to say it back even when we both know we don’t anymore, You must think I’m so stupid  I’m out in the backyard with your clothes on the floor, A wine in a hand and cigar in another as I look up at the beautiful stars shining down at me, Gulped what’s left of the wine as i set your clothes on fire  This is what you made me do Turned me into a scorned woman...

  I smile you smile I move you do the same I sit you sit You’ve always been by my side each step of the way When I get lost and disconnected you were always there When I celebrated my small Wins and cried about the ones I lost you were equally there When others didn’t feel the need for me to be in their life and left you didn’t  When I get confused and make the wrong choice you bear the consequences with me My pain is your pain My tears your tears  And my happiness is also yours  When I gave up on myself you didn’t  When I’m weak and scared you didn’t leave  Not just because you couldn’t but mostly because you didn’t want to  You saw in me what I didn’t even see in myself.

I’m human, I have blood running through my vein and I bleed when hurt  So don’t expect me not to react cause I ain’t no fucking robot  how many times does it take for a heart to be broken before it’s had it’s full? I promise not to cry but I do I promise not to think about it, still I do It hurts and I just want it to stop, I wish I could reach right inside my heart and bring out the pain  Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe for a while, I gasp as tears rolls down my eyes and all I feel is worse pain I wish I could feel it all at once instead of it reoccurring at the slightest memory  I wish I could hit delete and puff you are gone  I’m hurting and I just wanna know why? Why me?

  Have got a one way ticket and I ain’t looking back, I know we said so may things we didn’t mean but here we are now Can’t unsay or unsee what already happened  Have never felt such heaviness in me even as I drawn each breath I love you, “God knows I do” but it has gotten to a point where have got to choose between me and you, This friendship has become toxic to my health  It breaks my heart to let you go So there it is, I’m sorry I don’t have the strength to shoulder more, I’m sorry it has come to this, Unexplainable things happen in life but we still have to move on, I choose me over you!

  A single word with a thousand meaning, A word that brings such calmness,balance and peace to one’s tussle in life  A word that gives you something positive to look forward to  A word that gives strength to keep on striving for greatness  A word with so much in-depth meaning and can be in any form you choose it to be A word for everyone (Man,Woman,Old and Young) A world so fulfilling and precise  A word that makes us feel bad times doesn’t last forever(Good times does) So whenever you find “HOPE” in whatsoever situation you find yourself?, just hold on to it  Might be your only saving Grace.

  Something might seem so simple yet complex   One minute I know what to do, the next minute I don’t  My heart says this but my head doesn’t agree  It feels like a million and one questions are running through my mind  A simple step or decision I make Alter’s my journey in life  I wish I can have a glimpse into the future so as to make the best decision for me I’m at a crossroad and it’s time to decide  Am i In or Out? Should I go right or left? Should I say Yes or No? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

  I’m tired, stressed out, I don’t want to try again or start over, Feeling so drained and exhausted, So many expectations yet unmet, I don’t want to give up but I feel like have given it all, have given so much out that I’m beginning to fade away and become a shadow of myself, I hate that I feel this way because I know how hard I tried. It hurts when you expect so much more but get little or nothing in return. Have got to relax, Time to pull the plug and draw the curtain, Show’s over, I have nothing left to give...... so I give up You win.

It’s easier to be judged from afar than getting to know you,  From your clothes to hair style, places you visit , people you are seen with and things you say People find it easier and way convenient to analyze/judge your type of person even without saying a simple word like “HI” to you Most people do it for fun, some out of inferiority complex and others hatred  We have foe amongst friends  We’ve been judged by family, friends, co-workers, society and even religion. It’s better to know exactly who you are so as to let negative things being said about you blow over, People will always think/say whatever they want to and that is something you have no control over.