Olagoke Oreoluwa Elizabeth

  Lost in the thought and imagination of something that can never be mine, Is it Love or Lost? All I know is that it’s like a scent that pulls me, a sound that lures me towards it I want more and more by each passing day  I crave to feel unexplainable things at it’s peak I loose control over my body,mind and soul…all I do is feel  Nothing else mattered at the time,nothing else made more sense  It consumes me and I become an instrument, being subjected to do it’s bidding  Part of me wants it to stop but another part just wants to be lost in it forever and never found, I might go to hell… but at least I’d enjoy the ride there.

  It’s so funny how we miss what we never had, how we longer and thirst for what isn’t ours. How we blindly pray for the type of lifestyle that isn’t meant for us, We get into relationships/situationships fully aware of what the outcome would be but we hang on to that little hope of what if it actually works out and when it doesn’t (as expected) it hurts like you never saw it coming,  You are never fully prepared for failure, but yet you keep trying,  I keep praying that whatever/whoever isn’t meant to be in my life should be removed no matter how aggressively I hold on it/them, I can’t go through all this and settle for less so for now I rest, so I can redirect my thoughts and change direction, have given it my best. Tired of fighting for a lost cause.

I’m physically,mentally and emotionally exhausted   Everything is tiring to me, the weight on my shoulders makes it hard to see a bigger picture (if there’s any)  I hate my life but dying is not an option  There’s always one thing or the other to deal with, from one phase to another exist hurdle upon hurdles, People expect so much from me and I feel like I’m stagnant even after several efforts put in place to move, Help! I scream inside but act strong on the outside, Drinking myself to sleep is the only way to relax, even music doesn’t heal anymore  I’m tired (problem no dey finish)