SWEET PAIN

 Ever been in a relationship where you know your partner is playing you but you smile and play along anyway.

He's a liar, he's a cheat, he's irresponsible name it, he's all kinds of bad news and gave alot of red flags from the onset.

But still I fell for him, much deeper that I intended to .

He has hurt me so many times but here I am, cuddled up in his arms after a breath taking sex. People called me names, some even questioned my sanity....even I do sometimes.

There's nothing wrong with you babe,I'm the one with the problem and having you beside me give me strength to do better, I want to do better, I want to be there for you as you've always been for me blah blah blah.... he always gave the famous it's not you it's me speech in a much more convincing way.

Told myself this was going to be the last time so many times.... would you call it Addiction? Stupidity? Oblivious? Demented? Insanity? whatever its called.

If he's wrong then I don't want to be right.

He makes me smile for no just reason, I know he's a player but I've convinced myself that he plays others but me.

I even make excuses for him before he does.

It's called love....the crazy kind and I'm the crazy one here.

I know he'd take me to hell but atleast I'd enjoy the ride there.

So many times I tried breaking up saying, I can't do this anymore, I deserve better....he cuts

me short by kissing my forehead, lips then neck, you aren't listening to me I said trying to resist.....shhhh he said as he keeps on kissing me this time intensely then I forgot what I wanted to say as we ended up having sex, the wild kind with so much emotions involved.

He's my Addiction, craziness, madness.

Few weeks later I received a mail with an invite to his wedding....I was devastated, tried reaching him but I guess he blocked me on all platforms, he even went as far as changing the locks of his apartment.

He shut me out completely, I couldn't believe it.

Gun in my hand as I watched the man I love take his vows to another woman after destroying my sanity.

Raging with anger as i took a shot at him and everyone ran out screaming, even his so called wife to be left him in his own pool of blood and ran.

I never would have done that to him, I would have died for you....if only you'd let me.

I walked closer to his body and smiled, even in death he looked better than anyone else I'd known.

Placed the gun to my head, closed my eyes and fired.

" we would be together again, I promise....if I can't have you, no one would."


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